Girls Like Mysterious Guys
Now I don’t know a ton about girls, I’ll be the first to admit it. I don’t know if they like being hit on, if size matters, or where they pee out of. It’s a mystery like the bermuda triangle, but one thing I do know is that girls love a mysterious adventure.
This is why when I’m out on a date and things are getting a little stale, I will pay the waiter $40 to come up to the table and say “Sorry to inturupt, Mr. White but TIRAMISU is not on the menu” and then give me a menacing nod. Then I will put a very serious look on my face, jump up,punch the waiter in the face flip the table and grab my date by the hand say “They found me, we have to leave now, follow me”. Then I dart out the back door and jump in my car. I say “I’m sorry you have become a part of this, but if you don’t do what I say they will kill you to get to me.”
As she gets scared i yell “How do they know about Berlin!..your cell phone, give me your cell phone” Then I open up the back of her phone and and say “Bugged” and then throw it out the window of my Mitsubishi Lancer. Than I drop her off under a bridge and tell her to meet me in the Marion Hotel under the name Samantha Stone in 40 minutes. After we bang, I tell her to go underground for a few weeks and to “stay off the grid”.
They usually see me at a Jamba-Juice a few weeks later and get really upset, but deep down I bet they had a lot of fun.
